11 Smart people know how to hold their tongue; their grandeur is to forgive and forget.
Peterson, E. H. (2005). The Message: the Bible in contemporary language (Pr 19:11). Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress.
In 2013 Disney released an animated film titled “Frozen”. In the film, Princess Elsa of Arendelle possesses a uniqueness. In the beginning, this gift is used to create moments of enjoyment with her younger sister Anna. One day while playing, Elsa accidentally injures Anna. Their parents, the King and Queen, rush both siblings to a colony of trolls where Anna is “healed”, but her memories were also altered to remove traces of Elsa’s unique gift. Elsa is warned to learn to control the gift that is in her. The King and Queen isolate both sisters within the castle. Elsa shuts out Anna, causing a rift between them. The rift continues as isolation has caused insecurities. Each time there is an issue or a conflict, it is ratcheted up by the distrust caused by the shutting out of Elsa to Anna. The Film has a song that really catches the theme of the movie. That song became one of the top songs of the year, winning multiple awards. It was the feelings of one who made a mistake, who hurt someone unintentionally. Yet, was isolated and restricted, from being around the ones that she loved. So, once she was outside of the restrictions she begins to “Let it Go”! Why couldn’t there had just been a conversation between all of them, then and there about truth of the matter? Healing would have happened and relationships would have never been hindered. So often we try to cover up, instead of opening up.
In life, mistakes are made, and hurt is brought on. More often than not, the hurt is unintentional. Words are spoken in the heat of the moment, actions are taken without thought of the repercussions. People’s futures are forever changed by a moment. That moment is now dictating, relationships, positions and even finances. It all started as an innocent mistake, now it is led to a complete separation of relationships. I have witnessed so many families, businesses, and marital relationships destroyed over the failure to “let things go”! To just open up and say, “I’m sorry, I hurt you, how can I make it right?”
We as people somehow believe that by letting something go, that we are placing our approval on the event. Forgiveness isn’t making an excuse for the behavior, forgiveness is actually protecting you from becoming destroyed by harboring feelings towards that individual for a mistake. Intentional or unintentional it was a mistake, and as the Proverb tells us, smart people know how to hold their tongue, and your grandeur is to forgive and forget. In other words, let it go. It is often easier to say I’m sorry, than it is to say I forgive you!
Forgiveness actually has more to do with you than the other person. Take a look at what Jesus stated about this…
“In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can’t get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God’s part.
Peterson, E. H. (2005). The Message: the Bible in contemporary language (Mt 6:14–15). Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress.
See forgiveness has so much more to do with me than them. By forgiving I prove that I’m not weak, rather I am strong. I am strong enough to understand that people do make mistakes. I am also smart enough to know that I am not perfect, and I desperately need forgiveness. I will not get forgiveness without offering it to others. Sometimes you’ll need to accept an apology that you never actually get, and just forgive them without it. It’s more about you than them anyway.
The King James Version of the bible renders Proverbs 19:11 like this
11 The discretion of a man deferreth his anger;
And it is his glory to pass over a transgression
The Holy Bible: King James Version. (2009). (Electronic Edition of the 1900 Authorized Version., Pr 19:11). Bellingham, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.
It is your glory to pass over a transgression. While reading that scripture, my mind is captured by the phrase “pass over”! This phrase is a huge phrase in the bible. It’s beginning is during the plagues placed upon the people of Egypt. The last plague was the “death angel”. The angel was instructed to visit the land of Egypt and any home that didn’t have the blood applied, death would come upon the first born of that home. However, if the blood was applied to the home, then the death angel would “pass over” that home and spare that family from death. (Exodus 12) The blood is what covers our mistakes, transgressions, or sins. When we ask for forgiveness then the blood is applied to our lives.
Every time that there is an offense in our lives, or someone hurts us, we have a choice. We can either “pass over” it and spare the individual, or we can bring death to the relationship. Which will you do?
There are many relationships in my life that I value, more than I value the need to be “right” in order to keep those relationships, I just need to “pass over” some things, hold my tongue (or my fingers), and realize that God WILL and HAS dealt with all of it already!
Someone said that forgiveness is unlocking the door to set someone free, only to realize that you were the prisoner! Set yourself free, by offering forgiveness!